Why Finding Your Mum Friends Matters (and How to Make it Happen)
Motherhood is such a whirlwind, isn't it? Between feeding schedules, sleep regressions, and trying to keep some semblance of a home running, it’s easy to feel like you’re swimming against the current every single day. And if you’re anything like me, in those early days of motherhood, finding time to even think about friendship—let alone build new ones—felt impossible. I mean, really, who has time for friends when you can’t even find time to shower?
But here’s the thing: Mum friends aren’t just a "nice to have." They’re a must-have—and not just for you, but for your whole family.
Why Mum Friends Are So Important?
I know what you’re thinking. Right now, it feels like you’re barely holding it all together, and carving out space for new friendships seems like a luxury you can’t afford. I get it. But here’s the truth: motherhood can be incredibly isolating. Even if you’re surrounded by kids all day, you can feel alone, disconnected from the outside world and from the parts of yourself that existed before kids.
Mum friends are different.
They get it in a way that nobody else really can. They understand the exhaustion, the constant juggle, and the endless worrying. They get that sometimes, success for the day is just getting everyone to bed. They’re there to say, "Yes, I’m going through this too," and to share the emotional and practical support that keeps us all going.
When I became a mum, I was blindsided by the loneliness that crept in—especially after being one of the first in my social group to have kids. Friendships that were once built on late-night chats and carefree weekends just didn’t feel the same anymore. My priorities had shifted dramatically, but it was hard to explain how or why. I’d sit in my circle of friends, all of us at different life stages, and feel this quiet sadness. I’d wonder why no one had warned me about how much life would change after having kids.
The Real Reason You Need Mum Friends Mum friends help in so many ways—ones you might not even realize you need right now. For starters, they help reduce burnout. Let’s face it: when you’re trying to do it all alone, the pressure is relentless. But when you have someone to vent to, someone to remind you that you’re not doing it wrong—it’s just hard, that weight feels a little lighter.
They also help you maintain your sanity. Whether it’s sharing tips on how to get through yet another sleep regression or offering a listening ear when you’ve had the worst day ever, mum friends bring the kind of emotional support that makes motherhood feel less lonely.
And if you’re like me, who had more than a few days where I felt like I was floundering, a good friend can bring you back to yourself. They reflect your strength back to you—even when you can’t see it—and help you remember who you are outside of just being “mum.”
But Why Is It So Hard to Make Mum Friends?
Here’s the tricky part. As adults—especially as mums—making friends can feel so much harder than it ever did before. Suddenly, the stakes are higher, and the logistics? Don’t even get me started! Between nap schedules, school runs, and just trying to keep your household afloat, finding time to nurture friendships often falls way down the priority list.
It’s also a vulnerable thing, isn’t it? Putting yourself out there and admitting, "Hey, I don’t have it all together. I need connection." It can be scary. But it’s also so worth it.
How to Make Mum Friends (Without the Pressure)
So, how do you do it? How do you make new friends when you’re already so stretched thin? Here’s what I’ve learned:
Start small.
You don’t need to dive into deep friendships right away. It can begin with something as simple as a smile or a small conversation at the park. "Oh, I love your pram! Where did you get it?" It doesn’t have to be a heart-to-heart from day one. Build it up naturally.
Be where the mums are.
You’re not going to make new friends sitting at home (even though I know how comfy that sounds right now). Whether it’s a playgroup, music class, or an online community, put yourself in spaces where other mums are. Half the battle is just showing up.
Be vulnerable.
The more honest you are, the more you open the door for real connection. When someone asks how you’re doing, don’t brush it off with a "fine." If you’re struggling with sleep, or you’re overwhelmed, share that. Authenticity breeds connection. You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, showing your imperfections can be a huge relief for someone else who’s feeling the same way.
Prioritise connection.
It’s easy to prioritise everything else, but making time for friendship is worth the effort. And it doesn’t have to be huge. A quick text to check in, sending a voice message, or even just popping by for a coffee—these little moments add up to something big. And don’t worry if you can’t always respond right away—every mum knows what it’s like to juggle a million things at once.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Mum friends aren’t just a “nice to have”—they’re a lifeline. They help us navigate the chaos of motherhood, lighten the load, and remind us that we don’t have to carry it all on our own. That’s exactly why I created The Village—a place for mothers to come together, connect, and support each other through the highs and lows.
Inside The Village, you’ll find real, raw conversations with other mums who just get it. It’s not about having it all together—it’s about being together through it all.
If you’re feeling isolated or longing for deeper connections, I want to invite you to join us. It’s a space to show up as you are—messy, tired, happy, or overwhelmed—and find your people.
So come on in. Let’s do this together. 💛